Dinin en kısa ve öz tanımı

Her konuda uzman doktor Nihat Doğan, TV8'de Okan Bayülgen'in Kral Çıplak programına katılmış. Konuk izleyicilerden biri, neden kendisinden "biz" diye bahsettiğini sormuş. Nihat Doğan, "Allah da kendinden 'biz' diye bahsediyor." şeklinde cevap vermiş.

Radikal gazetesi internet sitesinde bu haberi eğlence kategorisine aldı ve ana sayfada yayınladı. Haberin bağlantısının verildiği görselde Nihat Doğan'ın sıradan pozlarından biri var ve "Nihat Doğan işi büyüttü!" yazıyor.

Din tam olarak budur, ne fazla ne eksik. Müthiş bir özet.


Not: Bu kısa nottaki her bir cümle ile ilgili saatlerce sohbet edilebileceğini fark ettim yazdıktan sonra.

How not to have sex


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How not to have sex
Start.
“What does she want? What was the message of that touch? Am I being pushy? Should I continue? Should I not continue? Should I stop? Give a small break? What should I do? How should I do it? When? Is this okay? Am I too fast? Am I too slow? Wait; am I capable of understanding her reactions? Am I overreading her reactions? What did she mean by this? Did she mean anything? Does she mean anything? What do I want? Does it accord with what she wants? What does she want? Am I misinterpreting things? Is she okay? - “How do you feel?” - Damn it. Do I look ridiculous? How do I look? Am I too fat? Am I too thin? This is irrelevant. Concentrate. But on what? What does she expect me to do? What did she expect me to do? Am I being satisfactory? Should I slow down? Do I feel okay? Am I going to regret any of this? Am I being consistent with myself? How am I going to feel about this? How do I feel right now? Does she have any preferences? How can I get to know about it? Should I ask? When should I ask? How to ask? Maybe it's better to ask later? But later can be too late. Am I disappointing her? Am I disappointing myself? This is most certainly not how I imagined it. How did I imagine it? I didn't imagine myself overthinking, that's a fact. So, shouldn't I think? How much of this nonsense does she realize? What would she think? Would she empathize? Could she empathize with such ineptness? What would she like? What does she like? What does she want? Does she like this? Do I look too nervous? Am I too nervous? What should I do next?”
Halt.
“For sure, I will regret this.”
Rewind. Repeat.
(to be improvised with particularised acts and feelings)

Interactions


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Interactions

To the public: In order to avoid any misunderstanding, I wish to announce that I do not appear in this picture. It is the first serious drama written and directed by myself.1

Empty stage. Woman sitting on the floor, in the middle. Man enters left, approaches the woman, stops in front of her. She does not notice. Silence. Man walks to the right; about to exit, stops and turns back.
+ Is there anything I can do?
* (As if realized his existence long ago.) Well, not much, but you could try.
+ Tell me.
* Do not hesitate to improvise.
+ Is that it?
* No.
+ So?
* I guess there isn't anything you can do.
+ I really wanted to make a change.
* Maybe next time.
+ Which next time?
* Well, in general.
+ (Confused.) I'm not following.
* Exactly!
+ Is there anything you can do?
* Well, not much, but I could try.
+ Would you?
* Maybe next time.
+ This is becoming significantly disturbing.
* Which?
+ In general.
* I see.
Silence. Man reluctantly approaches the woman.
+ For as long as I've known myself, …
* Some fifteen minutes, that is?
+ Does it matter?
* Not much.
+ May I continue?
* You could try.
+ What was I saying?
* Exactly!
Silence. Man walks towards the woman. They look at each other. Long silence.
+ Is there a way out?
* (Surprised) Is there a way in?
+ Not that I am aware of.
* There you are.
+ I am about to give up.
Silence. Man leaves, re-enters, walks to the other side of the stage, leaves, re-enters, stops in front of the woman. She does not notice.
+ Is there anything I can do?
Curtain.

1 A Woman of Paris by Charles Chaplin. Chaplin's personal preface in the beginning of the movie.

Facebook'tan Önce Son Çıkış - Personal Facebook Phase-Out

Facebook'tan Önce Son Çıkış bilgilendirme notu 1


(scroll down for English)


Facebook hesabımı kademeli olarak kapatmaya karar verdim. Kişisel blogumu daha yoğun olarak kullanacağım; benden haber almakla ilgileniyorsanız blogu eposta ile takip etmek isteyebilirsiniz.


Facebook'ta çok fazla zaman harcadığımı fark ettim. O yüzden sırayla şu adımları atmayı düşünüyorum:

* Facebook sohbette çevrimiçi olmamak

* herhangi bir şey paylaşmamak ve paylaşılanlara yorum yapmamak

* arkadaşlarımla eposta bağlantıları inşa ederek Facebook dışında temasta kalmak

* profilime bir süre hiç girmemek

* profilimi geçici olarak kapatmak


İçinizden gelen ilk fırsatta bana eposta ile ulaşırsanız çok sevinirim.


sevgiyle,



Personal Facebook Phase-Out notice 1


I decided to phase out my Facebook account. I will use my personal blog more frequently; if you are interested in hearing from me, you might want to follow by email notifications.


I realized I am wasting too much of my valuable time on Facebook. Therefore, I consider taking the following steps:

* not being online on Facebook chat

* not posting anything and not commenting on any posts

* reestablishing email contacts with friends to keep in touch outside the realm of Facebook

* not to login to my profile for some time

* put my account on suspension


I kindly urge you to contact me by email whenever you feel like it.


best of bests,